I often write about my experiences working with the youth at the Juvenile Detention Center, mainly because it is a ministry that I have found a well of passion for. No matter how tired, how cranky, how stressed, how busy I am, Sunday night, 5 P.M., you'll know where to find me, because there is no place I would rather be.
These kids have the surprising (but, alas, perhaps not so surprising), ability to give me exactly what I need at any given moment. When I am feeling too comfortable with myself and my situation, they shake me up and smack me around, leaving me feeling disoriented and sometimes angry, staggering at the weight young kids are made to carry just because of where they were born. When I am feeling too prideful, too focused on my "results," they humble me. Hard. Force me back into a space of prayer, of seeing myself simply as an instrument, filled with that More without which I couldn't do any of this work well. When I am sad, and frustrated, and hurting - they hold my heart just as surely as I try and hold theirs each week. They give me a space to be myself. Fully, and without hesitation. They make me laugh and bring my spirit back to a place filled with hope and purpose.
In honor of them and their spirit, and of the love I have for each and everyone I have met, and will continue to meet, here are a few stories of my time with them (I apologize for the tons of curses in the following stories, but it helps convey the environment-they appreciate keeping it real, so we do):
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Victor is a "quiet" kid. The quotes are there because while absolutely silent the first few times I met him, after he warmed up, I cannot get him to be quiet. A thoroughly likeable kid, he is one of the people I love to mess with and joke around with, because it never fails to draw a strong and hilarious reaction. He never stops asking questions. Such a naturally curious person, I hope he will take that and run throughout his life. During our last reflection, I implemented just a few minutes of silence before our opening prayer. The whole time, this kid is whistling, tapping, fidgeting, asking me questions about my hair - anything but what I asked him to do. After "silent" time, I explain the exercise - describe Where You Are - emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. In other words, paint a picture of your current situation in life - where are your relationships: with others, with God, with yourself. What are your wishes and desires, what do you want, what do you need, how do you feel, etc. After five minutes of explaining the exercise, we all set into the activity, until I hear Victor next to me.
"Hey, so what're we doing now?"
"What do you mean what're we doing, I just fucking explained it..."
"Yeah, something about where we are?"
"Yeah, but not just the physical place, where you are in a soul sense - like, for instance, you could write about why fuck you can't sit still and shut the hell up for the 3 minutes I ask you to. Or you could write about where it is you go whenever I explain any of the activities we do!"
Cue laughter. Relationships blooming.
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Since being on the Rez, my hair has become a pretty constant topic of conversation. The first couple of weeks of teaching religious ed. to the younger kids, I quickly had to adjust any lesson plan we had. "Yes, you can touch my hair and beard, but only at the end of class/if you get this question right." One of my friends from the community came up to me one day and said to me, "Hey, people like you around here. They joke and tease with you, that's a good thing. It's your hair, they like it, there's something about it." I think it has some sort of disarming effect. "Shit, this kid is a nutjob, we don't have to be too closed off." The kids at the JDC are no different.
"Is that your real hair?"
"Yeah it's my real hair."
"How you get it like that?"
"Just twist it up, knowt it up, it's pretty easy."
"You wash that shit?"
"Yes. I wash it."
"Don't look like it man. And it looks like you're going bald. I don't know about it. But I guess it works."
(Well thank you! How kind of you for sharing, really, keep it coming).
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"Why you always trying to get us to think about this stuff?"
"Cause, I think it's important to know who you really are and where you are in your life. It's good to be aware of this stuff."
"You tell us where you are then" So I do, tell them about what I am struggling with, where I am hurting, why I like being with them so much, etc. Keep it as real as I can, maybe they will too.
"Damn, you're pretty good at that.'
"Yeah, but not always. I practice, a lot. It's hard work, and it's painful too. You gotta confront a lot of things about yourself, it's tough shit."
"Why you tryin to make us do it then!? Cheeeee."
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Another staple of my wardrobe out here (much to the chagrin of my mom - sorry!), has been my poncho. I love the thing, it is so funky and warm, and I can't pass up on stuff like that. Of course, the kids at the JDC can't either.
"What's with the blanket?"
"My poncho?"
"Yeah what's up with that, is it warm? Why do you wear it?"
"It's real warm! I don't know, I just like it i guess."
"Oh, definitely feels pretty cool, he thinks it's cool," (like I am not even in the room), " You feel pretty cool when you wear it?"
"Mmm, yeah kinda (grinning sheepishly)."
Everyone laughs, "Yeah it's pretty cool, you got it."
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Person meets person. Experience meets Experience. Heart meets heart. And we both meet at the deepest, truest place.
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