Right Here

Have you ever been in the middle of something and realized that it was exactly where you wanted to be?  It could be anything - the middle of watching a sunset; the last mile of a good run; cooking a great meal; watching your bizarre family argue and make fun of each other - anything.  It doesn't matter what it is that you're doing, and in all honesty, it isn't really that important.  It's the realization, probably on a subconscious level, that you are exactly where you are, in that specific moment, and that is the exactly the place you need to be.  It has less to do with what's going on around you, or even what you're doing, and more with the awareness flooding in that says, "yeah, this is me, this where I am, this is right."

I have had this feeling a few times since my arrival in South Dakota.  One I described in a recent post.  The other two are described below:

1) There is something truly magical about attending a powwow.  I sat in the bleachers surrounding the powwow grounds, belly full on a chili-dog and some popcorn, fresh from an afternoon of feeding hungry fair-goers, meeting tons of new and interesting people, talking spirituality with a cool guy I had met the day before.  I settled in to my set, and simultaneously, settled in to myself.  I started to pay attention to what was going on around me.  I looked out and watched the dancers - colors whirling everywhere, bells jingling, feathers shaking.  Faces, fierce as if they were still performing battle dances, totally absorbed in the dance, in each step, each movement.  Bodies completely in tune to the beat of the drums.  They dance as if the world depended on it - like if they stopped, the world would stope turning, the universe stop functioning, and looking at them, I just might believe it.

The drums.  Pounding.  Getting deep into my soul and reminding me where I came from so long ago.  The heartbeat of the universe, replicated here by mere mortals.  It's a heartbeat we all share and live in tune with - one to which we all dance our cosmic dance, playing our part and making it beautiful.  The singing is more like screaming - primal and raw, like it was trying to speak the very language of the world, of the sun and stars, the fire and wind.  "We come from you," it says, "we are you."

As I look out on the endless horizon of the Plains, at a sunset blood red pouring over the hills on one side, the enveloping darkness on the other, I sit in the middle of it all, grateful to be exactly where I am.

2)  As I stumble out of bed, I wonder why the hell I am up so early in the first place.  I hit the bathroom and make my way to the kitchen, ready to break my fast in style.  When my roommates are up and ready, I pull on my jeans, step into my boots, tie on a bandana, and grab the car keys.

We drive south down BIA 1, and to the left of me, I can see the sun rising over the Plains.  The softest of glows is creeping over the hills as the sun slowly makes it's way up int the dome of the sky.  As we head West and leave sunrise behind us, the van begins to roll into early morning fog, drifting over the highway between the fields.  Not a soul is awake, not even the birds.

When we hit Spring Creek, it's like we've entered some mysterious land, full of hidden secrets and beautiful uncertainty.  The hills rise up suddenly, the mist drifts between the trees that line these hills, a striking difference from the sheer vastness of open plains.  It is like old and sacred woods, a sanctuary for ancient and powerful beings - magic almost.  As we cross the bridge over the Little White River, we have to stop.  The sun, now a fiery orb, situated perfectly above the river, nestled between two wooded hills - it should be on a picture, on a postcard, except for that it could never capture the feeling of being right there, a part of it.

As we drove on and picked enormous amounts of wild chokecherries and plums in the morning glow and cool dewy air, I got it again.  That feeling that I was just where I was, exactly situated and aware of my place, physical and spiritual, in the universe.


I don't know exactly what these things mean.  I don't exactly know if my words hold any significance for anyone but myself.  But I know that that feeling of being situated and located exactly where I am, and feeling blessed for it, is one that I will continue to chase and look for throughout the entirety of my life.

It's just too beautiful and too right to easily forget.