I have been a book for the last few days called The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society, written by the great spiritual writer Henri Nouwen. It is a really interesting read, focusing on the condition of contemporary people and how Christian leaders are called to authentically engage with where contemporary people are at. In short, Nouwen claims that it is from their wounds that people are able to heal. That we no longer need perfect leaders without blemish to direct us from a distance, but rather, it is those courageous and willing enough to open of themselves and show their own brokenness who will really help to lead.
One of the lines that struck me most while I read today was:
"Who can take away suffering without entering into it? The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there."
There is a lot to chew on here, and my thoughts on the subject of suffering are varied and often conflicting (which may befit such a daunting subject). I want to focus in on what Nouwen is trying to point to here, because it is something I find to be both brilliant, and also impossible.
Christianity often focuses on the "broken-ness" of humanity, on our fallen state, on our sinful nature (not that this is necessarily the official position of the Catholic Church or of other Christian churches, but is very much a part of the rhetoric and language of Christianity). It is precisely this which is said to bring about the necessity of Christ, of God becoming incarnate in man to redeem us. Now, regardless of what your belief in Jesus is (my own being fairly murky at this point in my life), let's study that model that Nouwen is drawing from. Himself a Catholic priest, Nouwen is a part of a tradition that believes it was necessary God to be fully submerged and entrenched in the grime and grit of everyday life. In the Christian understanding, God did not simply snap fingers and fix everything, but rather, chose to do so while firmly within the same situation we find ourselves in.
Nouwen then makes the leap to saying that, since God has become incarnate in humanity, it means that in Jesus we were lead (notice the continuation of that theme of leadership here) out from brokenness and darkness. It is in this event, Nouwen holds, that we are to understand God is tasking US to lead one another, to display our own brokenness, to enter into the suffering of others in order to be truly present with them.
Does this sound a little too academic? A little to theoretical? It does to me, and that is when I move from excitement and wonder at such a novel idea into skepticism and cynicism that it would actually work.
But here is a story from my own life that confirms that, maybe there is profound wisdom to be found in Nouwen's words. As a junior in college, I lead a retreat for the freshman who I was the resident assistant for. I had been with these students all year as a mentor, and as such, I often was in a listening role than sharing role. While on retreat, however, I was asked to tell from my own life story and journey throughout college. I spoke about my own faults and shortcomings, the struggles I had with self-love and acceptance, the issues of being judgmental and feeling lost and alone. After the retreat, I received letters from a couple of the people thanking me for what I had shared. They said that before, they had viewed me as older and wiser, a figure who had answers and who had everything together. I was a perfect role model - in other words, I seemed something other than human. In sharing my own brokenness, they said, they were given hope. They did not lose any respect or admiration, but rather, gained more of both for themselves, despite their own faults and difficulties.
Perhaps there is something to entering into the suffering of others, to being there with them in that. There is an idea of profound "presence" that I hope to carry with me throughout my year of service next year. The Franciscans are all about the idea of a "ministry of presence," one that focuses on being with people in their suffering and entering into that space with them.
Whatever that will look like, I am sure it will be challenging.
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