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This is my love letter to the two pains in my asses I have grown to love and appreciate over these last three months.  Without you, I'd be significantly less bruised and uncomfortable - but since when is that ever what I've wanted in life?  This is not meant to convey any notions of communal bliss, or to give the sense that I feel the next 9 months are going to be smooth sailing.  They won't.  The first 3 haven't been, why would the rest!  It's good for me, though, to do some reality testing from time-to-time, to do my best to speak plain and put the situation out just as it is, without any need to justify or change it.  Just take it all, and accept it. Love it.  Be tremendously, unequivocally, thankful for it. For my community mates.  My friends.

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"I once told you that, given the opportunity, I would probably trade you both for a really good pulled pork sandwich.  You know, smothered in BBQ sauce, heaped with fried onions, and lovingly coated in melted cheese, all tucked inside a toasted sourdough roll.

Over the last few months though, I've started to reconsider.  I like coming home from my early shift at the radio station to the smell of ham and eggs and potatoes.  It helps me start my day off thinking, 'what can I do for others?'

I really appreciate that my cooking never gets a bad review, and even when I'm not pleased, you always just seem to be grateful. And even clean up my mess??  It's almost unthinkable to me, and it gets me wondering, 'how can I be more appreciative?'

When you ask me what's wrong, and sit and listen patiently and attentively as I ramble for a good 20 minutes trying to figure it out. 

When you patiently show me how to work out and exercise, keep me accountable in my quest for impulse control, and push me harder to stretch my limits. Makes me wonder, 'how can I more humbly and patiently share my gifts and talents with others?'

When I start screaming around the house like a maniac, just cause I find it amusing.  Or when I walk out into wherever you are with important information, information so important it couldn't wait till I put pants on. Or when I just grab my belly fat in the middle of the kitchen and tell it how one day I shall defeat it.  The way you just let me be me, really.  It makes me wonder, 'how can I better support others in their journey toward being totally themselves?'

When that acceptance helps me open up and be vulnerable. When you push me to share more and more of my heart, even though it scares the living shit out of me.  When the simple and authentic relationships we are developing helps push me to remember why I need to push out of my closed off safe zone.

When we kung-fu around the house because it's awesome.  Or get in a tickle fightbe cause it is hilarious and you hate it.

When your very existence is my polar opposite. When the fact that you inhabit the same space as me forces me to constantly re-evaluate how I relate to others and what my assumptions are.  When your own struggle and willingness to be vulnerable makes it OK for me to be feeling those things too. It makes me wonder, 'How can I be more authentically who and what I am to allow others to do the same?'

When you listen to my life story, ups and down, big and little details - and remember them.

When you share documentaries about motorcycles with me, even though I know nothing about them.  When you come yelling into my room announcing your best friends are getting married.  When you take me into the center of your own joy, letting me know you trust me enough to hold it gently and lovingly, despite all of the times I've failed to do so.  It makes me wonder, 'How can I have more courage to trust people with the things I love the most?'

When you help me realize I'm not super-human.  I'm just Michael. And that's good enough. Limits and all.

When you say things that make me wonder if you are not actually a 100,000 year old magic-wizard-sage come back to help me on my life journey.

When you take my advice, whether it be to get a mohawk or an earring, or to play the guitar differently.  It makes me wonder, 'How can I more humble in order to learn from others?'

When self-consciousness and uncertainty that have long lay dormant come to the surface, because the truth is, I really do want to learn how to love and support you the very best I can, even if I don't always express it so well.

I think what I'm trying to say is I actually kinda like you guys.  I get tired constantly having to re-examine myself, and make adjustments to be a better person.  I mean, gee, how knew it would be so much damn work!  But it seems worth it. And I'm happy. And you make that possible in a very real way.

I guess this is all to say, after careful reconsideration, I probably wouldn't trade you for a pulled pork sandwich.

But if they through a free beer and a pickle with it.... well...."

Love, your friend, Michael